


Put Me At Peace

by stormbornbxtch



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bikes, Canon Compliant, Cuddles, Cuddling & Snuggling, First Kisses, Fluff and Angst, JJ is safe, M/M, Pope is worried, Post-Canon, Teenagers, just shut up, real soft, shut up pope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:07:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24401047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormbornbxtch/pseuds/stormbornbxtch
Summary: Pope's a worrier and JJ is JJ but they manage to put each other at ease as best as they can.
Relationships: JJ/Pope (Outer Banks)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 169





	Put Me At Peace

JJ was quiet. 

JJ was never quiet. The grief of losing John B. and Sarah had gone as quickly as it had come after they called the gang from their ship in the middle of the fucking ocean. 

JJ had been eerily quiet the night their ship went under after his initial outburst of emotion. He had stayed with Pope and his family and Pope had never seen JJ so...reserved. It unnerved him, to see JJ, who is usually so blunt and open with his emotions, close himself off to the world. It was like after they had left the police tent, he had shut down. Became completely unresponsive, a ghost of himself. 

He had spent the night staring up at the ceiling from his place on the floor besides Pope’s bed. Pope was numb too but not like JJ, he had shed a few tears that night as the grief ran through him but JJ was just quiet. Like he was trapped in his mind and his body could only breathe. In and out. Over and over again. 

When Pope had run out of tears, he’d turned on his side and watched JJ from his place on the bed. It had all been too quiet but there were no words either of them could speak to make the world feel less hopeless than it was at that moment. Then the sun had risen and Kie had facetimed the two of them about the phone call she had with John B and the world felt whole again. Pope felt like he could breathe again. 

JJ’s shell cracked and for the first time since he left the police tent, he cried. Sobs racked his body as he released all the emotions he had been holding onto into a relieved cry. Pope had held him that entire morning, crying a bit himself from the relief.

Yet even though the world hadn’t been as bleak as it was before, JJ wasn’t the same. For a moment, he seemed like he would be with the way he talked animatedly about plans for going to the Bahamas to help John B and Sarah. Pope didn’t have the heart to tell him that they wouldn’t be going out to help their friends search. Or at least he and Kie wouldn’t be. 

His parents wouldn’t let him uproot his entire life on a pipe dream and he had already put them through enough this summer. Kie’s parents were just as strict as Pope’s, probably even more so after she had left her mom and gotten in the car with JJ to go help John B. Plus JJ’s own restitution and the criminal charges they could all be facing for aiding and abetting a ‘murderer’. The likelihood of them escaping to that faraway island was nonexistent. 

But Pope couldn’t tell JJ that, not yet. He couldn’t take away a piece of his hope after he had just gotten it back. JJ didn’t have a lot of things to hold onto, he needed hope like he needed oxygen. Who was Pope to take away his lifeline?

They had met up days later in the back of Kie’s family restaurant. It and her house were the only places she was allowed to be, Pope had made a detour from dropping off groceries and JJ...Pope wasn’t where JJ was before then. 

He wasn’t staying with Pope’s family anymore, not because he wasn’t welcome but because JJ didn’t want to be there. The whole conversation still didn’t sit right with Pope. 

_ “If you want, I can try and find you an air mattress or something to sleep on. I know the floors gotta be killing your back.”  _

_ They were alone in Pope’s room, JJ was in the corner looking out of place. It occurred to them both after John B had called that JJ had never really stayed over before. He had never really been in Pope’s house before. Pope’s dad had always seen JJ as bad news, someone he didn’t want around his son and ‘corrupting him.’  _

_ His mom had talked reason into him after seeing JJ’s bruises when they picked them up from the tent. Said it would be okay for him to stay the night and Pope had never loved his mom more than he did in that moment. Losing John B had been enough but letting JJ go back into that house after he had stolen a boat from one of his dad’s clients was gut wrenching.  _

_ He had already lost one friend. He couldn’t lose another.  _

_ One night had become two and now going on three and despite how awkward the mornings could be, no one had made a move to kick JJ out. His dad was even warming up to him, gave him three pieces of bacon with his pancakes instead of the usual two this morning. Well, maybe he was warming up to him, it might’ve just been pity bacon but it was still something. It meant his dad was empathizing with JJ and soon, which meant he cared about him. _

_ And Pope liked having JJ around. He liked going to sleep at night knowing where JJ was, only a few feet away from him. He liked seeing JJ’s bruises healing without new ones to replace the old. He liked knowing where JJ was at almost all times. He liked knowing that no one could hurt him where he was. He liked knowing JJ was safe.  _

_ It gave him peace of mind.  _

_ Even though the entire Heyward household had begun to warm up to JJ’s presence, JJ hadn’t begun to warm up to the Heywards. He walked around on eggshells, like he was afraid to touch something or even breath near it. Like he was scared he’d break something. _

_ He looked lost.  _

_ When Pope’s mom set breakfast down in front of him, a gentle kiss on his forehead as she did so, he had frozen up completely. When Pope’s dad had moved to pat him on the back after he had helped around with the chores, JJ had flinched.  _

_ It was unfamiliar territory for JJ, a healthy home. He didn’t know how to respond to it.  _

_ So when Pope had asked him about the mattress, JJ had looked away.from him and towards the floor.  _

_ “Nah man, I think I’mma head out soon anyway.” He told him in that forced nonchalant way JJ did whenever he didn’t want someone to read too much into things.  _

_ But Pope was Pope and he always read too much into things.  _

_ “What do you mean ‘head out’?” He put air quotes around JJ’s statement, turning to face him with complete confusion and slight anger.  _

_ “I mean like, head out. Go home.”  _

_ The words ‘go home’ sent a pang of fear into Pope’s chest.  _

_ “You can’t!” His voice was more earnest than he expected and unlike JJ, Pope wasn’t bothering to hide how he felt. _

_ “Not yet I mean, it’s been like three days and you have no idea what your dad is gonna be like when you get there. You can’t JJ, not yet.” He said again but firmer than before.  _

_ JJ stared at him, his expression unreadable and Pope felt his skin prickle under his gaze. For a second, he could’ve sworn he saw JJ’s eyes dampen a little before the blonde finally broke eye contact.  _

_ “Okay.” _

_ Relief flooded through Pope but it was gone just as quickly as it had come.  _

_ “But I can’t stay here.” _

_ Pope’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at him.  _

_ “Why?”  _

_ JJ looked away from him and back to the floor, something he had been doing a lot more lately and something that bothered Pope for reasons he couldn’t entirely explain.  _

_ “I don’t belong here Pope.”  _

_ “Bullshit!”  _

_ The words had come out just as he thought them, angrier than he intended. JJ looked at him with wide eyes, shocked at his outburst but he quickly pushed it aside.  _

_ “Look man, your family, they’re amazing. Some of the best people I’ve ever known and you-” JJ faltered under Pope’s incredulous gaze and looked away again. “You’re amazing.”  _

_ His voice was the softest he had ever heard it. Almost a whisper that Pope almost didn’t catch. Something warm bubbled in his chest as the word flew through him.  _

_ “But I don’t want to-I don’t want to be a burden to you guys. Your dad already doesn’t like me that muc-”  _

_ “He’s warming up to you!” Pope interrupted but JJ ignored him.  _

_ “-and I don’t need to take up more space than I already have. I’m just-I’m not worth it.”  _

_ The words pained him because they simply weren’t true. JJ was worthy of parental love and affection, he was worthy of a safe home and a warm bed at night. He deserved the world and then some.  _

_ “JJ-”  _

_ “I know what you’re gonna say man and I really don’t want to hear it. I just-I need to get out of here okay.” JJ looked back up at him and Pope could see the pleading in his gaze. He could see how tired he looked. He didn’t want to fight, not when he had already accepted defeat.  _

_ The look struck Pope and it struck him hard. He couldn’t find the words he needed in the moment. He didn’t know what to say to make him stay.  _

_ After a long silence, JJ smiled. Forced and lazy before making his way towards Pope’s room door. _

_ “Wait!”  _

_ JJ froze, “just, don’t go home okay. Go anywhere else, go to Kie’s or John B’s place or the docks for fucks sakes. Just don’t go back there.”  _

_ It was Pope’s turn to plead. JJ hadn’t turned around to face him and Pope could feel his heart ramming against his rib cage as each second ticked by that his best friend never spoke.  _

_ “I won’t.”  _

_ The words left his lips and Pope released a breath he hadn’t he’d been holding before JJ opened the door and disappeared.  _

_ Even with that little peace of mind, Pope still couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that formed in his gut in JJ’s absence.  _

He was late and Pope felt like he was going to throw up. 

“Hey, umm, since JJ isn’t here yet I think we should talk you know?” 

Pope tore his eyes away from the path JJ should’ve been walking down and back to Kie. His eyebrows furrowed, confusion seeping into his mind. 

“What for?” 

Kie rolled her eyes, “we kissed Pope.” 

The memory flashed back into his mind, he hadn’t thought about the kiss since that night if he were being honest. Which is strange because he was in love with Kie. Or at least he thought it was. 

She was pretty. God, he’s had a crush on her since he can remember and yet, the kiss...he didn’t really know what to make of it. She had screamed at him days before about it never even being a possibility and then next thing he knew...they were kissing. It didn’t make sense. The feeling he felt when it happened, that didn’t make sense either.

“Yeah, we should.” 

  
“I-I don’t think we should go any further.” 

The words should’ve crushed him, her rejection should’ve broken his heart like it did the first time. 

Now, he didn’t feel anything. That confession felt like a lifetime ago, so much had happened since then and for fuck’s sake, where was JJ?

“Okay.” Is what he says instead. 

“Okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

Kie looks at him, like she’s expecting more of thinking of something else to say but what else was there really? 

The sound of branches cracking grabbed Pope’s attention and his gaze traveled to the source. JJ walking towards them. 

Pope looked him over, no new bruises, no new cuts. Just JJ. Safe and sound. His body eased at the sight, releasing tension he had been holding in everyday since JJ was gone. 

He stood next to Pope but didn’t say anything, didn’t even smile and it left Pope feeling uneasy. If Kie noticed the change in JJ’s demeanor, she didn’t comment on it. 

“Now that everybody’s here, John B thinks he found it. He’s just not sure how he and Sarah can get it off the island.” 

* * *

Their meeting ended when Kie’s break was over. Pope was supposed to be home in like twenty minutes but he didn’t care about any of that. Not right now. 

“Where are you staying?” 

The question wasn’t much of one, more demanding and urgent than any question was meant to be posed. 

JJ looked back at him, eyes wide at the sight of Pope behind him.

“Jesus dude, you fucking scared me?” He said, an easy, nervous laugh falling from his lips as he turned and stopped in place to face Pope. 

“You think you’re scared? JJ-I’ve been going out of my fucking mind for the past two days!” 

Pope didn’t mean to scream, he never meant to scream. But something about JJ riled him up beyond reproach. Frustrated him to the point where he just, did. 

Pope gripped the handles of the bike JJ left at his house so hard that his fingers ached as he stared JJ down, brown eyes raging into his blue. 

“You left a safe home! You left warm meals and clean clothes and I-I just don’t get it!”

“Pope...’ JJ began but Pope really didn’t want to hear him brush it off or make excuses. He was tired of excuses and tired of JJ running away from him. 

“No! Don’t ‘Pope’ me! You left! And fuck, I know it might not have been as permanent as either of us want it too but it was something! It was the best I could do and my dad may be a hard ass sometimes but he cares. More than you know. And my mom cares and-” 

“Pope!” 

“-I care JJ. I don’t just care man, I love you okay. And when you love someone, you take care of them. Or at least make sure they’re safe. And I haven’t seen or heard from you in days. I don’t know if you’re back with your shitty dad in that shitty house or spending your nights alone at John B’s and I don’t like either. I don’t like the thought of you being hurt or alone, especially right now and you can’t just walk out on the people wh-” 

Firm hands gripped the sides of his face before soft lips connected with his own. A shocked sound he had never thought he was capable of making slipped from his mouth and into JJ’s as he kissed him. He should’ve pulled away. 

If Pope was as smart as everyone thought, he would’ve. He would’ve backed away from JJ, told him that this, whatever it was, wasn’t smart. One, Pope was somehow trying to convince his parents to be guardians for JJ and legally, it was beyond messy. Two, just a few weeks ago he was proclaiming his love for Kie. Three, they were both completely out of whack emotionally and nothing that formed out of shared trauma was ever truly healthy. Four, he wasn’t gay but he wasn’t-Pope didn’t know what he was but JJ kissing him sure as shit didn’t clear things up. 

He had never even thought about guys like that. Not deeply at least. Let alone JJ. 

Yeah, there was a reason why every single girl with an attraction to men always hit on JJ at parties. There was a reason for girls and a few guys passing Pope notes to give to JJ in school but there was never a reason for the burning irritation that rose in him during those times. Yet, he had never looked at him like that. 

But when JJ pulled away and looked at Pope’s wide shocked eyes and fear filled his own. When he started stuttering apologies, Pope couldn’t help himself. He grabbed the back of his neck before JJ could run away and pulled him in again. Kissing him harder than JJ had done before, with more passion he had ever felt for Kie. When JJ somehow managed to rest his hands on Pope’s waist and Pope curled his fingers into JJ’s hair, the only thing keeping them completely apart being JJ’s bike, it felt right. 

All of it felt right. 

Everything made more sense, JJ’s glances whenever he thought Pope wasn’t looking. Pope had always thought they were meant for Kie but now, he realized. They never were, they never had been.

JJ sighed into his mouth, muscles relaxing into Pope’s touch as they grew closer. As close as this bike would allow. 

Warmth flowed through Pope’s being as they found a rhythm. Messy yet strategic. The perfect fit. 

When he told JJ he loved him, he didn’t mean it like that. Or at least, he didn’t think he did. Now, he wasn’t sure. 

Because JJ was kissing him and it felt better than breathing after resurfacing from the ocean. 

Because JJ was the only person in the world who could make him laugh even in their shittiest of shit moments. 

Because JJ’s smile made his heart warm. 

Because his laugh made Pope feel good. Made his chest all fuzzy and he couldn’t help but laugh too. 

Because JJ was the only person he could turn to during Kie’s kook year. When John B was pushing them all away after his dad’s death. When there was no one else, there was JJ. 

And Pope never wanted there to be a time when there wasn’t. 

When JJ pulled away, resting his forehead against Pope’s and there’s a moment between the two. Like calm after the storm and for that moment, everything is okay even if it isn’t. 

“You just gotta shut up sometimes Pope, just...shut up.” JJ breathes out, breaking the tension and like always, he makes Pope laugh and kind of want to cry at the same time. 

When Pope tells JJ to come home with him, JJ nods along. No longer fighting, no longer resisting the warmth he deserves. 

Because to Pope, JJ will always be a part of his home. Whether he’s in it or not, he carries a piece of it wherever he goes. 

And to JJ, Pope and the Pogues, are the closest thing he’s ever had to a home of his own. 

They steer the bike back to the Heywards together, each of them holding a handle as they walk. Neither speaking, both a little scared to pop the fragile little bubble of calm wrapped around them after all they’ve endured.

Mr. Heyward is waiting for them on the porch and the anger engraved in his features dissipates at the sight of JJ at his son's side. They eat dinner in relative quiet and when Pope falls into bed that night, he grabs JJ by the waist and pulls him against his chest. Close, warm and more at peace then either of them have felt in weeks. 

“I didn’t know how to deal with them you know? My feelings for you.” 

JJ whispers in the middle of the night, Pope’s half sleep. He pulls JJ a little closer, rubbing his thumb on the back of JJ’s palm comfortingly. He doesn’t say anything, just kisses the back of JJ’s shoulder like it’s the most natural thing in the world and for some reason, it feels like it. 

“I just-before you were at a safe distance. I could hide them but after the boat thing, you were there. You were always there and when I blubbered like a bitch after finding out John B was okay, you were there. And you stayed and I just-I didn’t know what to do.” 

“It’s okay JJ, you’re okay.” 

And they both believe the words Pope says as he says them because for right now, for the first time in a long time, it's true. 

“I just wanted you to know why I ran, I’m not a flake or anything.” 

And Pope laughs because he doubts flake is even in JJ’s vocabulary. He’s so loyal, it could kill him. It still might. 

JJ breaks free from Pope’s embrace only to turn and face him. 

“You’re the most loyal person I know, you know that right?” Pope tells him and JJ doesn’t say anything as he looks down at the pillow beneath him.

“Have you always liked me?” He asks instead and Pope’s smile fades. He doesn’t know the right way to answer so he does what he always does with JJ, he tells the truth. 

“I don’t know honestly, I just-I know I feel something with you. And I wanna keep feeling it if that’s okay?” He says because Pope doesn’t always have the answers when he needs them so he does his best. And JJ knows that better than anyone else. 

“Fuck yeah it is.” JJ whispers, shit eating grin on his lips and for the second time that night, Pope laughs because JJ is still an idiot and he loves it about him. 

He thinks he might love everything about him, even the annoying parts but he doesn’t say that, not yet. 

It's all so new and he doesn’t want to fuck things up and say something stupid like he usually does. But it scares the shit out of him. Out of them both. In a good way, the way in which it would scare them even more if they spent their whole lives wondering what if instead of doing whatever they’re doing right now.

So when JJ lies on his chest and fits his hands into Pope’s, he doesn’t pull away. Mostly because he doesn’t want to and also because he’s too scared to let JJ go. 

“What are we doing man, wha-what’s gonna happen?” JJ asks again, a fragile little whisper minutes later and Pope doesn’t know what to say or how to say it to ease JJ’s nerves. If he did, he would do it.

“I don’t know but we’ll figure it out.” He assures, completely uncertain himself. 

“Yeah, we always do.” JJ says, just as unsure. 

It’s true, somehow they always figure it out. It’s what pogues do, it’s what they’ve always done and always will do. 

JJ drifts off sometime later and Pope follows suit. More at ease then he’s felt in weeks. 

Because JJ isn’t running. Because JJ’s with him and because for the first time in a long time, JJ’s safe. In his arms. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm obsessed with them, let me know what you guys think. Hopefully, more fics coming soon.


End file.
